Was It Ever Really Me?
by BrokenComatose
Summary: Brother? Is it me you see? Or is it him' Alphonse begins to have doubts; thinking Edward pretends he's Alfons. Elricest;One-Shot; R


_A/N: Here I am with another Elricest fic. I know these aren't the best, but I like them, therefore, I'm posting them. If the Rating is to low, please tell me and I'll change it_

_Warnings: Elricest, Implied Sex, Implied EdxHei  
_

_Rated: Hard T _

_Disclaimer; I don't own FMA_

xXx

I feel you flinch behind me, as my back is pressed to your chest. I smile softly; everyone thought I was the one afraid of thunderstorms. You were the one that would come and ask me to sleep with you, to protect you from the storms. I smile as my waist is squeezed by the hand you have placed there. Memories of what had happened a few hours ago flash through my mind:

_Your face…your breath…the way my name sounded on your lips as you broke the last barrier between us…the smile you had for me once we were both spent…the way you gently rubbed the cloth all over my body, trying to get all the fluids off as I almost fell asleep._

I love all of it. I want to keep it forever. But, I know he still haunts your dreams. The one who looks like me.

_Alfons Heidrich. _

I hear you mumble his name once in a while in your sleep. How do I know it's his and not mine? Simple, his was almost quieter than mine, and there was always that slight accent that came with the pronunciation. Your hand squeezes again.

"_Alfons…"_ you mumble as you pull me closer to you. I freeze, then glare at the ever-present photograph of him on the desk. You refuse to throw it away. You say it's slowly helping you forget your friend. I scoffed when you said that. Friend? Please. He was just as much as your lover as I am. I scowl slightly as you continue mumbling something I can't make out. Then, a thought crosses my mind: _What if it wasn't me you were thinking of? What if you thought it was Alfons you were thrusting into. Every time you hug me, or kiss me, is it _him _you think of? Or is it really _me? I shift slightly, trying to remove myself from the protection of your arm. I quietly slide out of bed, placing your arm lightly on the side of the bed. I freeze as your eyebrows pull together in your sleep and shiver. I feel a little remorseful; I know how you need my body heat. It's the middle of winter. Plus, you're still only in a pair of thin cotton shorts, the only article of clothing you put back on. I grab my pajamas pants from were they were crumpled on the floor. I slip them on, letting them hang loosely around my hips. I grab a blanket from the ones you refuse to use, saying they smell too much like home. I wrap it around my shoulders, and lightly step from the room, being careful of the creaky floorboards. I step down the stairs, and slip into the kitchen. I flip the light on, blinking a few times. I walk over to the small pantry, and pull out a bag of hot chocolate mix. I set some milk to boil on the stove, then pour the mix in. I pour the steaming drink into a mug, then walk to the living room. I sit on the couch as I sip my drink. I glance at the table beside the couch. There's a large book sitting there, and I grab it. The title is in _German_; which is the language of this country. I scowl and set the book back down, slouching back into the couch. I gingerly sip the hot chocolate. I hear your footsteps come down the stairs, and I freeze. _Not Now!_ I slump down into the couch in a vain attempt to hide myself.

'Alphonse?' Your voice calls me name, and I almost forget my worries. My name in your voice just sounds _to damn good. _I shudder and slap my hand over my mouth, trying to will the urge to call back to you go away.

'Alphonse?! Where are you?' You continue to call my name, your soft tenor saying my name.

'What do you want Edward?' I call.

_Damn it._

I hear you walk over to the couch. The spot beside me dips down as you take the seat right next to me.

'Are you ok?' You ask me.

I shrug. 'Yeah.'

You place a hand on my shoulder and squeeze. 'No, you're not.'

'If you knew that, why'd you ask?' I say.

I can feel the flinch through the warm hand on my shoulder. Guilt washes over me. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's fine.' You say, and remove your hand. I shudder at the loss of contact.

'No. It's not.' I say, fisting my hands.

You place a hand over mine, lightly twining our fingers together.

'Brother. Is it me you see? Or is it_ him_?' I ask, squeezing your hand slightly.

'What do you mean?' You ask.

'When we kiss, hug, make love. Who do you see? Me or Alfons Heidrich?' I say, my lower lip quivering. _Damn it! I'm not going to cry!_

'Oh Al.' You say, pulling me close to your side.

'Edward, I need to know. Honestly, do you ever wish I was him?' I ask. You pull me closer and lift my face to your own. You press your lips to mine softly. A sweet and gentle kiss, the kind you know I like.

'It's you Al.' You say as you pull away.

'Really?' I ask, doubting you although I know I knew I shouldn't.

'Damn it, Al!' You say, and I flinch. You look guilty. 'Oh, Al. I'm sorry.'

I get up, slipping out of your arms, and run to my own bedroom. The one I haven't slept in since I arrived. I throw myself onto my bed, and burry my face in my pillow. The door opens behind me. I know it's you, but I can't look.

'Al. It's always been you. Truthfully, I imagined _Alfons _was _you.'_ You say.

I lift my face from the pillow. 'Really?'

You lean forward, capturing my lips in yours. I moan, and you take the chance to slip into my mouth. I grip your hair tightly and cling closer. You run your hands lightly down my bare chest, and I blush as I arch into your touch.

You chuckle softy. 'I love you, Al.'

I smile, knowing it's _me _he's talking to for sure. I pull you back in for another kiss, this one was _my_ kind of kiss: slow, soft, and holding what seems like every promise in every world. Your hand moves down slightly, teasing at waistband of my pajama bottoms. I gasp as you begin to pull them down. I pull you into another kiss, as we let our bodies do the talking until the last flash of lightning flashes through the window.

_fin_

_A/N: Hmm….this one wasn't so bad after all. It seems they totally forgot about the storm going on outside ;). Read and Review!_

_Until Next Time;_

_Spiritshipper-SuzaEuphy09_


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